I've been really upset today...I cried a lot...
My mom gave me a little talk...no, not about "the birds and the bees"...some other talk...
I had planned out my future years ago. High school. New York. College. Business management. Designing school. Then masterals. Such a perfect plan. I even thought about what places I'd work for for a part time job. (*I decided to go with either McDonalds or TGIFridays.) It was all planned out so well...I was so sure of my future...I'd be doing what I've always dreamed of! I'd be indendent and free...and I'd be working for my success...I'd be on my way to live on with my passion..designing.
But no.
I can't go to New York for college anymore.
What has happened to my future...? What of my plan..?
What about my hopes? My dreams!
What is to become of me?!
...I...I am hopeless now...I'm not sure of my future...
My mom said: "Wag mo muna pag-isipan yun. Matagal pa naman eh."
Pay attention, mother! I've got 3 years left! I don't care how long that is, but it took me a hella long time to think of a plan for me!
You didn't even think of my passion...you knew what I had hoped so much to be!
She also said: "Don't worry. You have a company waiting for you!" I don't care! What of my passion?!!
Then she said: "Maaayos mo rin yung buhay mo." God damnit! That's so easy for her to say! Hellooo??! Did you think I actualy could?!
I cried..and I cried...
But, now, I understand. I'm in deep shit. I'm in more trouble than I thought I was...
...I understand...
...Here comes the pressure...
...I need to move it faster...
...work it harder...
...make it stronger...
...do it better...
...Gawd, my work is never over.
# posted by
Miss Jackieeee |
10:39 PM |
Monday, June 19, 2006
Gawd!!! What's wrong with the world?? Er...OA much :P hehe!
Well, kanina, I felt just totally frustrated with my mom. I mean, we just got home after having a totally great time! What's the problem? Well, as soon as we reach home, she starts arguing with me over petty things! Er, hellooooo!! I come in peace! You should to!
She claimed that I was angry with her because she didn't make me a Philly Steak sandwhich. Uh, I understand her...she works. She's tired! I'm not showing any anger! I'm wasn't even angry about it! So why does she wanna stir up this drama?? She should be happy that I understand her and that I'm not upset...I mean, it's just a sandwhich! I have lunch money. I don't mind...I mean, though I'd like somethin' special once in a while, I understand my mom's situation.
I just get so frustrated when she tries her best to make me look bad! It's like parents think they can just say anything they want and still end up being right! It's not fair! This is why they always end up going on Oprah's couch cryin' "Boo-hoo! My kid hates me and totally doesn't understand me!!" Why won't they listen to their children?!! Rrrrrr!! Ma, stop makin' drama!! Wala naman akong ginagawa sayo eh! It's just an effin' sandwhich! I'm not mad, so quit being mad at me!
Parents, don't let this happen to you. Just 'cause your bored, doesn't give you the right to screw with us. Stop thinking life's a soap opera! Kk? I'm honestly sick and tired of being yelled at for no reason at all.
# posted by
Miss Jackieeee |
11:07 PM |
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Hmm..I'm inspired tonight :)
...have you ever listened to music and got completely inspired..?I have :)
..tonight's muse: "Here With Me" by Dido.
...beautiful lyrics...
Here With Me
I didn't hear you leave,
I wonder how am I still here,
I don't want to move a thing,
it might change my memory
Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want,
but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep,
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide,
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me
I don't want to call my friends,
they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed,
risk forgetting all that's been
Oh I am what I am,
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep,
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide,
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me...
Well, since I'm inspired, I shall be off to draw now :)
..see ya!:D
# posted by
Miss Jackieeee |
10:34 PM |
Friday, May 19, 2006
Hehe! The moon is bright tonight...gawd...it's so beautiful!
It's not everyday the moon in the Philippines looks this way :)
My uncle who works in LA told me that the moon there looked bigger...like in the movies or sumthin. So everytime I see the moon here a little bigger than it usually is, I start getting all excited :)
Tonight, the moon glows bright yellow..not it's usual silver :)
Hehe! I'm so easily amused!
But I still find it beautiful :) I wish I could take a picture..sadly, I don't have a camera.
Grrr...
hehe! I'm always like this...strangely attracted to the moon...I can't help but stare...:)
# posted by
Miss Jackieeee |
12:37 AM |
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Er...I forgot about my old blogspot account...so I made a new one! Weee! Hahahahhahaa!!
# posted by
Miss Jackieeee |
1:19 AM |
